The Adventures of FluffyMan
by Yuki Mimi
Summary: Could Sesshoumaru be more than just a ruthless demon lord? Read about the adventures of superhero FluffyMan and his faithful sidekick, ToadBoy, as they battle against the evil villain Dr. Naraku! A parody of Inuyasha, SpiderMan, Batman, and Superman.
1. The Scent of Crime

The Adventures of Fluffy-Man 

_A parody of Inuyasha, Spider-Man, Batman, and Superman._

**Chapter 1:** The Scent of Crime

Sesshoumaru stood high atop a cliff jutting out from the mountains, his honey-gold eyes surveying the human village sprawled in the valley beneath him. Something in the air was not quite right.

"My lord?"

His diminutive servant Jaken scuttled up to stand beside him. "Enjoying the sunset?"

"Fool," replied Sesshoumaru coldly. "I don't waste my time enjoying sunsets."

Jaken looked crushed. "My apologies, Master Sesshoumaru. Then may I ask what you are doing?"

"You may not."

Chastened, Jaken slunk off to join Ah-Un the dragon steed. Plopping himself down next to Rin, who was taking a nap, he heaved a sigh.

The fiery twilight glow outlined Sesshoumaru's statuesque form against the vast expanse of orange sky. What was it that gave him this uneasy sense of foreboding?

Trouble was brewing, he knew it.

"Jaken. Get my costume out."

"Y-Yes, my lord!" Jaken nearly tripped over himself in his eagerness to obey.

With much difficulty, the little servant pulled one of the saddlebags off of Ah-Un. He opened it and extracted several items. Folding everything neatly, he presented the "costume" to his master.

Sesshoumaru took the items. "And the spare arm?"

"Ah! Of course, my lord." Jaken opened another saddlebag and fished out the severed arm of a powerful demon like Sesshoumaru, and handed it to him. The arm had been put under a spell to preserve its state.

The demon lord walked away from the cliff and his companions, and found a convenient little clearing nearby. Quickly and efficiently, Sesshoumaru removed his armour and swords and laid them on the ground. He shed his rich, lordly clothes and carefully attached the severed arm to his body. Thanks to that fool Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru only had one arm, and it doesn't look very pleasant to lack an arm when wearing tight-fitting clothing like his costume.

He pulled on the red and white full-body suit, made of a strong elastic material that hugged his slender but muscular frame. The mark of the crescent moon on his pale forehead was concealed behind a thin black headband, and his silver hair was gathered into a high ponytail. A long cape was fastened around his neck, and a red silk handkerchief covered his nose and mouth ninja-style.

The transformation was complete. He was no longer the cold-hearted, dignified, human-hating Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands, but a famed superhero whose name was well-known throughout the land: Fluffy-Man.

Fluffy-Man had never been quite satisfied with his alias, but much as he tried to rid himself of it, it stuck to him like peanut butter. He could still remember that fateful night when he was given the name…the night he decided to dedicate his life to fighting crime and injustice.

- - -

It had been a midsummer night, surprisingly cold, though of course Sesshoumaru was unaffected. He was strolling through the forest, Jaken tagging at his heels. Rin was taking a nap on Ah-Un.

There lay an injured young woman just ahead, sprawled in the middle of the forest path. Sesshoumaru would have walked right past her without giving her so much as a second glance, but she weakly raised a hand to stop him.

"Please…my lord…" she breathed hoarsely. She clasped something tightly in her hand, and offered it up to him. "Please take this…to the nearest village…my brother lives there…his name is—"

A human's pleas weren't worth listening to. Sesshoumaru abruptly walked on.

"Please! My lord! _Please_…"

"Shut your mouth, wench," spat Jaken. "Are you expecting Lord Sesshoumaru to do favours for you? I hope not!"

To both Sesshoumaru's and Jaken's surprise, the woman mustered the last of her strength and grasped the end of Sesshoumaru's sleeve. He tried to pull free, but she made it clear that she wasn't going to let go. Annoyed, Sesshoumaru lifted his hand to kill her.

"Wait! Please…just spare a moment…to listen!" the woman begged. "I was attacked…by a thief…a _demon_ thief…he took everything…but this." She motioned weakly towards the thing that she clutched in her other hand. She was about to continue talking, but Sesshoumaru decapitated her with his energy whip.

He walked on tranquilly as if nothing strange had happened. Jaken led Ah-Un by the leash, blabbering incessantly.

"Really, Master Sesshoumaru, that wench sure was stupid. Ha, can you imagine? She actually asked my lord for a favour! Who did she think she was, that stupid—"

"Jaken, shut up."

The servant was about to reply, "Yes, my lord," but wisely closed his mouth.

That night, they camped under a large maple tree. Rin hadn't woken up, and continued slumbering on Ah-Un's back. Jaken was snoring in a bed of lush grasses not far from them. Sesshoumaru leaned against the maple, dozing.

The thief struck then. He worked so stealthily that even Sesshoumaru, one of the most powerful demons to walk the land, failed to notice what had happened until he woke up—to find his Fluffy _gone_!

Shocked into alertness, Sesshoumaru stood up fast as lightning. He checked everywhere, in all the saddlebags, even in a hole in the tree trunk—such was his desperation.

But no Fluffy was to be found.

"FLUFFY!" he roared into the night. But since Fluffy wasn't a living organism, it wasn't as if it could come flying back to him.

Jaken and Rin were sitting up, rubbing their eyes. "Lord Sesshoumaru, what's the matter?" Rin asked curiously.

Sesshoumaru was too distraught to reply. He gazed forlornly up at the star-splattered sky, quietly murmuring to himself. "Fluffy…my Fluffy…"

"'Fluffy'?" Jaken got up. "What are you talking about, my lord and master?"

His "lord and master" turned a teary eye in his direction. "Didn't I tell you about Fluffy, Jaken?"

"No…not that I remember, anyway."

Before Jaken's slow-paced brain could react, Sesshoumaru had drawn Toukijin and touched the tip to his servant's throat. Rin hastily yelled, "Lord Sesshoumaru, Lord Jaken didn't mean any harm!"

The demon lord's voice was trembling with rage. "_How…could you…forget…about Fluffy!_"

Jaken squawked in fear. "Ah! Fluffy! I remember now! Adorable little Fluffy!" Of course, he didn't really remember, but lying through his teeth often came in handy.

Calming down, Sesshoumaru put his sword back into its sheath. Both Rin and Jaken sighed in relief.

"This crime…I cannot tolerate it!" Sesshoumaru bellowed. "Who could have done such a thing? Thief—I will find you!"

With that, they sprang into action. Jaken took Rin on Ah-Un to fly over the area and try to locate possible suspects—after all, Fluffy wasn't hard to see in the dark. Sesshoumaru sped through the forest, using his keen demon senses to find the scent of his Fluffy.

In a little over an hour, he had the culprit begging for mercy at sword point. Rin and Jaken landed not far from him. "Oh! You found him, Lord Sesshoumaru!" applauded Rin.

"That's right," snarled Sesshoumaru, his eyes turning a demonic red. His Fluffy, looking slightly worse for wear, was back on his shoulder. "And he's going to pay dearly for what he did to me."

Sesshoumaru effortlessly slid the edge of his sword into the culprit's neck. But he did not take a clean swipe through the man's neck. Instead, he carefully moved his sword back and forth, using it like a saw to sever the culprit's head from his body, millimetre by millimetre. Enjoy the thief's agonized screams, Sesshoumaru made the suffering as prolonged as he could.

Jaken's expression plainly said, "I'm glad I'm not that guy right there," and Rin simply watched on in wide-eyed horror. Sesshoumaru usually preferred not to expose her to R-rated violence, but this time he hardly cared.

Finally, Sesshoumaru made the final cut. The guilty party died quickly and very gratefully. Satisfied, the demon lord wiped his sword on the culprit's clothing and sheathed it. Then he walked on in the direction of his destination. Rin went back to sleep on Ah-Un.

As he travelled, Sesshoumaru thought about what he had done. _I effected justice_, he noted with some satisfaction. It was fun, something he'd never done before. And it left him with the pleasant feeling that his father would be proud of him.

They met another human lying in the middle of the path. A man this time, his wounds deep and obvious. He reached out a haggard hand towards Sesshoumaru. "Please…my lord…"

"Not another one," Jaken muttered, rolling his eyes. "Let's continue, Lord—agh!"

Sesshoumaru had knocked him to the ground, and was leaning over the man. "How may I help you, sir? It is my wish to fight crime and promote justice in the world."

Jaken couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't believe his ears either. "My—my lord?" Even little Rin had woken up and was staring shamelessly.

The human smiled gratefully. "What a fair demon," he sighed. Then he weakly offered an object clutched in his hand. "Please…please take this to the nearest human village…my wife lives there. I was travelling…but a thief attacked me…and he took everything…but this." The man placed a strange looking piece of wood into Sesshoumaru's outstretched hand. "Take it to her…please."

Nobly, Sesshoumaru accepted the request and tucked the item into the folds of his clothing. "I will do this for you. In return, you must go in peace."

Rin gagged and Jaken's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

The dying human smiled. "Thank you, my lord…I will fulfill that request."

The man died, Rin went back to sleep, and they continued on their way. Sesshoumaru met about sixteen more of the thief's victims, all asking for favours. The requests ranged from "Please take this to my cousin…" to "Please avenge my father…he was killed by a strange demon with five eyes and three arms, living somewhere on the other side of Japan…"

That night Sesshoumaru, feeling the thrill of justice, accepted all the favours, and decided that he would have a dual identity from then on. When there was trouble, he would help out the needy. But in front of demons of his rank he would have to maintain his usual icy manner as the ruthless demon lord, otherwise there would be no order in his lands.

When he entered one of the human villages to perform a task for some dying victim or other, he found the village in an uproar, thanks to a thick-sculled demon that wanted world domination or something. Sesshoumaru easily killed him—and he just happened to have done it using his Fluffy.

The young village girls squealed with delight at this dashing young demon lord, using such a cuddly weapon to strangle that horrible monster. One girl shouted, "EEE! You're so cool, Fluffy-Man!"

And so, everyone began to know him as "Fluffy-Man". The news of this astonishing and beautiful hero spread through the land. Sesshoumaru's father's friends questioned him, wondering if he was turning onto the same path as his human-loving father, but Sesshoumaru assured them that he was not the one who did it. Thanks to his cold-hearted reputation, most people believed that lie without hesitation.

So Sesshoumaru had commissioned a tailor to create a costume for him, complete with a beautiful red-and-white cherry blossom pattern that matched the one on his usual clothing. Sesshoumaru's splendid alter ego, Fluffy-Man, became well known among humans and demons alike, while his true identity was feared by most.

He had ordered Jaken to be his faithful sidekick, and of course Jaken was only too happy to comply. And so, thus began the tale of Fluffy-Man and Toad-Boy.

- - -

Fluffy-Man walked back to the cliff, his red cape sweeping out majestically behind him. Rin had not woken up from her nap.

His sidekick had changed as well. Toad-Boy did not have the luxury of owning a full-fledged superhero costume. All he had was a black cloak, obviously made for someone of higher stature than him, so the hood effectively covered his face and the hem of the cloak was cut short for him. He, like Fluffy-Man, also had a red handkerchief covering his nose and mouth, so that only his buggy yellow eyes were visible, peering out from underneath the large hood.

"Toad-Boy, get my Fluffysteed ready. Rin must wait here."

"Yes, my lord!"

As he led the Fluffysteed (Ah-Un) to Fluffy-Man, Jaken took a risk and asked: "Fluffy-Man, are you sensing trouble approaching? Is that why we're getting ready?"

By way of reply, Fluffy-Man nodded curtly. "It's best to be armed and ready."

As it turned out, Fluffy-Man's intuition proved to be trustworthy. Twenty seconds later, the quite human village below them broke out in screams.


	2. Pandemonium

The Adventures of Fluffy-Man 

_A parody of Inuyasha, Spider-Man, Batman, and Superman._

**Chapter 2:** Pandemonium

"Ah!" squawked Toad-Boy. "What's going on down there?" He tottered to the cliff and peered over the edge. "My goodness—what on earth is that _thing_?"

The "thing" was some kind of monster, raising itself on eight huge tentacles that were merged onto the body of a young man with rippling black hair. Even from the heights of the cliff, Fluffy-Man's keen eyesight allowed him to see the handsomeness of the young man's face, and also the corruption brewing in his red eyes. He cackled like a maniac, hair whipping, using his tentacles to knock down houses and crush innocent villagers.

Rin woke up. "What's all that noise, Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"Did you forget again that you must never address Fluffy-Man by his real name when he's in his costume?" reprimanded Toad-Boy.

"Oops. Sorry, Lord Jaken."

"That applies to me as well!"

"Rin. Stay here." Fluffy-Man did not turn to look at his young charge. "It is time."

His faithful Fluffysteed understood the signal, and trotted over to him submissively. Fluffy-Man mounted it. A moment later, the steed was soaring down towards the village, proudly bearing its rider, with all the grace of an eagle.

Toad-Boy turned to Rin. "Rin…you heard our lord. Stay here; you'll be safe."

Rin flung her arms around Toad-Boy. "You _do_ care!" she cooed.

"Hmph," grunted Toad-Boy gruffly. "I must be off. I shall assist Fluffy-Man in his glorious escapades no matter what the consequences. Good-bye, Rin."

He turned towards the cliff dramatically. But then he paused. "Uh…how am I going to get down from here?"

- - -

The village was in an uproar. Men ran in all directions, trying to provide safety for their loved ones. Mothers cried and screamed and held their children in their arms, determined to protect them at all costs. Farm animals ran amok among the corpses littered everywhere among the ruins of the houses.

In the midst of it all, the tentacled monster grinned and cackled. "Ha ha ha! This is fun! This is what I was born to do!" He reached out a hind tentacle and knocked a young girl against a wall.

A man leading his wife by the arm towards the nearby forest suddenly stopped and looked up. His wife yelled, "Don't stop! Come on, Takehiro! _Move!_"

But he could only point a finger up at the sky in apparent bewilderment. "Look at that. Is it a bird? No. Is it a plane? Not likely. Wait…could it be…oh my lord, yes. Yes, it is!" His face split in a wide, joyful grin. "We're saved! Everyone, we're saved! It's _Fluffy-Man_!"

The commotion came to a sudden, blood-chilling halt. All faces turned upwards, except for that of the monster, who was busy dunking a boy in a barrel of water. But even he, eventually, noticed the lack of chaos, and saw that everyone was looking up. He looked up too—and regretted it, for the dragonsteed shot a laser ray at him and frizzled his face.

"Ack!" he cried in dismay. "My face, my lovely face!"

"Your face is not nearly as lovely as mine," came a deep, masculine voice from above.

The monster looked up angrily. The silver-haired man did appear, from what could be seen of his face, _quite_ good-looking. The monster did not like the fact that this individual, with his cool-looking cape and sexy tight clothes, attracted more attention than he did. "Who—who're _you_?" he asked.

"Me? Don't you know my name? Everyone does," the rider said smoothly. "I'm the invincible superhero Fluffy-Man, the Executioner of Evil, the Keeper of Justice, the—"

"All right, all right already," growled the monster. "You don't need to show off; I'm just as famous as you are. Surely you have heard my name." There was a dramatic pause. "The Octopus."

He waited smugly for some sign of recognition, but was met by silence. Very much annoyed, he finally snarled, "All right, just call me Dr. Naraku."

"Now _that_ name I have heard before," Fluffy-Man noted. "Aren't you that freak scientist who gave birth to six babies?"

Dr. Naraku grew red. "Shut up. I didn't give birth to them, they just—came out of me. Kanna was the first. Then Kagura, and—and—"

"I never heard that you grew tentacles too."

"That's because I only just grew them this morning," Dr. Naraku declared proudly, stroking one tentacle. "They, my charming children, are the results of an experiment in fusing pro-nuclear particles with negatively charged antimatter—an experiment that went horribly wrong."

"How pleasant," remarked Fluffy-Man. "Well, I've heard all I need to know. Now, prepare to die."

"So you want to fight, huh?" cackled Dr. Naraku. "Then let's get started."

The monster lashed a wriggling tentacle towards Fluffy-Man, intending to knock him off his steed, but they split apart and dodged the attack. Cursing, Dr. Naraku now realized that there were two separate entities to fight off, both of which could fly. Well, he would just have to use his tentacles to the best possible advantage.

From his aerial view, Fluffy-Man decided that this shouldn't be too difficult. It was at that moment that his sidekick, Toad-Boy, chose to show up. "Fluffy-Man!" he screeched. "Your faithful sidekick is here! I apologize for being late, I had to climb down the side of the cliff—"

"Toad-Boy, get on the Fluffysteed," ordered Fluffy-Man.

"Oh—of course—yes, my lord!"

In a flash of lightning speed, Fluffy-Man dived at Dr. Naraku and lashed his energy whip at one of the tentacles, severing it.

Dr. Naraku let out a cry of pain, but it turned into laughter. "You can't get me that easily, Fluffers!"

_Fluffers?_ Annoyed, Fluffy-Man watched as the severed tentacle re-grew itself. He drew his sword, Toukijin, and aimed it towards the body of Dr. Naraku. If he got the man in the heart, then that should kill him, tentacles and all.

But the sword never reached its target. A tentacle suddenly came out of nowhere and knocked Toukijin right out of Fluffy-Man's hand. Only his superior demon senses allowed him to dodge in time and avoid being struck.

Toad-Boy fought from the Fluffysteed's back, veins popping and eyes bulging. He continuously uttered hoarse war cries, apparently the ones he used when leading his army of little green demons to war. Without a better technique or a weapon more suited for him, Toad-Boy could only fling around the Staff of Heads and shoot fire. All he really did was singe the tentacles, but he did burn off a good deal of Dr. Naraku's hair.

"What do you want, anyway?" demanded Fluffy-Man, slicing four tentacles at once, using a tornado technique. They grew back within a few seconds.

"I want what everyone wants," the monster gargled happily. "The Shikon no Tama, Jewel of Four Souls."

He lashed two tentacles at Fluffy-Man, one from the front and one from the back, hoping to catch him off guard. But his hopes were dashed as Fluffy-Man dodged both.

"I need the jewel so that I can become bigger and more powerful. Then I will be able to aim for world domination!"

"The jewel is not here, so what have you come for?" Fluffy-Man obliterated yet another tentacle, getting annoyed as he watched it regenerate.

"My tentacles can feel the power of the jewel," Dr. Naraku explained, whipping aside Toad-Boy and the dragonsteed and dodging Fluffy-Man's attack. "They are aware of where it goes. My tentacles tell me that the jewel passed through this village, and that we are hot on its trail."

"They _talk_ to you? Disgusting."

"Don't mock me, vermin!"

As they fought, Fluffy-Man thought things over. This Dr. Naraku sought the Shikon no Tama. It was currently with Inuyasha and his wench, and their little friends. Although the jewel was whole again, Inuyasha had never used it as he intended. Things could get interesting.

"You fool," said Fluffy-Man, severely injuring Dr. Naraku on the side of his body. "You cannot win against me."

The scientist's face twisted in a scowl of pain, but he chuckled agonizingly. "I may not be able to defeat you, but I can run from you."

With that, he turned and scuttled away. Just like that.

_I'll let you off this time_, thought Fluffy-Man, _because I'm interested in how this could turn out. I can always just kill you later._

His Fluffysteed landed not far from him, Toad-boy tottering and swaying dizzily. Fluffy-Man was about to get on when a swarm of fangirls all started screaming simultaneously and tried to mob him. Much as the Sesshoumaru in him would have liked to dispose of them, that would violate Fluffy-Man's philosophy. So he simply avoided them by flying up and away, towards the cliff, where they couldn't follow him.

A croaky voice emerged from the girls' disappointed wails. "My lord! Don't leave me with them!"


End file.
